I can't sleep

I hate the huge gap between us.
And I can't come running back to you anymore.
And sometimes I think I should stop even trying to talk to you.
Because it's dry, dead, and all we seem to do is argue.
And I'm going to be yearning for the day when we'll be as we were before.
And I'll wait as long as it takes. Because even if I'm a bitch to you, I care.
And you know I do.
And even if you're an ass to me, I know you can't turn me away completely.
And I know you don't.

Yesterday

1. Was hot like a motherfucker.
2. Did random shit in Target w/ Princess Lisa
3. Ran my ass off to Angela's. Ran more than I run on the mile.
4. Watched Paranormal Activities
5. WAS SOOO NOT SCARED OF THE MOVIE! (stop BSing, Janice)
6. Got a dirty orgasm @ Jamba Juice.
7. Sat in the back of Angela's trunk for an hour.
8. Was too scared to close my closet door.

If I'm strong enough to pack up and move forward, why do I still linger?
What's so damn special about you? Only my inner self knows that, and she won't allow me to let go.
And it bothers me, cuhs outside, I don't see anything breathtaking or amazing.
Not even the slightest bit of humbleness. Only selfishness.
So I tried it out, and now I know, I think it wouldn't hurt you to move on.
GOD LET GO ALREADY. IT'S NOT GONNA BE A LOSS.
You should check yourself over and look at yourself before trying to point out all that makes me into myself.
You're an imperfect mess yourself.
No matter what my actions are, it doesn't change me as a person. Those who look at me differently aren't worth my time.
"No matter what happens those who love you will always be by your side, and those people are the people that matter."
It's not all about sacrifice. It's not all about giving.

And one day I'll fine MY Kiley.<3>

01. I want somebody who'd talk to me on the phone and listen to my voice and tell me stories.
02. Somebody who'd call just to say they missed me.
03. I want somebody to lie next to and cuddle with.
04. I want somebody who'd sweep me off my feet.
05. Somebody who'd kiss my left toe whenever I stubbed it.
06. Someone who'd sneak me a kiss when it seemed unexpected and catch me off guard.
07. Whose not scared to call my name and grab hold of my head and let our lips touch.
08. I want that person who would catch me before I even started falling.
09. A guy that'd trip me with his feet and make me fall in love.
10. A guy who'd take me on sushi dates and eat udong noodles with me.
11. A guy who'd walk with me when I was walking alone.
12. Who'd walk me from History to French.
13. Who'd come to my classroom after the last bell rang to come see me.
14. Who'd hold my hand and let our fingers intertwine.
15. A guy who knows I love hugs from behind and grab my waist while standing behind me.
16. Who'd juss give me hugs errtime, errday. Who'd juss calm my addiction of kissing by kissing me.
17. This one of a kind person that would make me sit down in amazement and be able to keep me down; be able to receive my love, gain my trust, earn my respect.
18. Who would sing with me and make fun of me and hold me when I'm scared.
19. Who'd buy me cookies and chocolate milk.
20. Somebody who'd ask me the randomest questions and open up to me.
21. A guy who would construct a time machine out of a cardboard box with me.
22. A guy that'd let me call him mine.
23. A guy who'd call me his baby.
24. A guy who'd take pictures with me and write me sweet notes.
25. A guy not afraid to be in a serious relationship with me.
26. A guy who'd still be my close friend after we drifted apart.
27. A guy who wouldn't bind me down or call me names.
28. A guy who'd put up with my bladder problems and listen to all my, "I have to pee!" complaints without getting annoyed.
29. A guy who'd come running up to me screaming "JANICE, I LOVE YOU!" at the top of his lungs.
30. Somebody who'd scratch beneath my surface and figure out who I am.
31. Somebody who'd still love me even with my ugly past looming behind us.
32. Somebody who'd stay up all night on the phone with me and in the morning tell me that my snoring is cute when I don't even snore. ^___^ 33. Who would accept my flaws and make me their number one.
34. A guy who'd go through my bitch fits and help me calm down.
35. Who would listen to my rants on PMS, French people, running, seagulls, and my appearance.
36. A guy who'd chase after me when I walked away; held me tight when I pushed him away.
37. Who'd buy me a single rose when I was to be having a bad day.
38. Who'd share his food with me.
39. A guy that would say he loves me and mean it. A guy who'd say it to only me. Cuhs I'm selfish and I'd want to sink into his love.
40. A guy that would do all of the above.

1O.O9.O9 ; BEST DAY EVER<3
no explanation needed.

I kind of liked you better in sweats.

I love my daddy!
Dad: -hands cup- Drink it.
Janice: What is it dad? o__o
Dad: Just drink it.
Janice: Is it yucky stuff? OH! Is it medicine?
Dad: Shut up and drink it. -slams door-
Janice: -drinks- :O -eyes get wide. DR. PEPPER!<3333
I have a hugeee bottle of it. Now I'm s happy. (:

IM SO SOREEE. )=

I feel completed, and I'm happy.
I think I'm over the whole self conflict and issues with him.
I'm so happy!
I had so much fun today, :D
I really enjoy hanging out with Sandy.
We do the most randomest shit ever.
Like lying on the middle of sidewalks and acting creepy.
I love how when I talk to her, there's no pauses.
We bounce and glide from subject to subject.
Thanks to her, I remembered a lot of childhood memories I haven't really shared with others.
And I ate her nachos. >:] muahaha.
We talked for like 3 hours. Until 11!
Then Gilbert walked me home cuhs he loves me. (:
I got home at 12:45. And got in trouble so I can't go anywhere tomorrow.

The only bad thing today was me getting my left ear almost burned off, losing my sparkly green hair tie, running through mud and dropping my phone in it, and being scared shitless in the dark with Sandy. All the good/happy stuff made up for it.

After a good 20 minutes of when I got home, I discovered a small package on my bedroom chair.
The CD you burned me w/ a letter, I feel as if it concludes my day.
It ends my day, and I can go to sleep smiling.

Thank you, today.