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Dear Sophiaboo,
For some reason, I'm not in a good mood. I don't know why, maybe it's the rain. The rain always leaves me with a trace of gloom and melancholy. Haha, I'm actually doing what I said I would-writing a Sophiaboo blog. Feel special. I'm sitting in bed listening to Utada Hikaru's music. My toes are cold, and I hate it when my toes are cold. Not even all the candy John got me is making me feel better. It just makes me feel like a bloated pig. Thinking about all the sugar and sodium circulating my bloodstreams kind of sickens me. But gosh, this is some really good candy. Sophia, I feel like everyday is the sameold. It hasn't changed, not one bit. I still don't have my privacy and freedom. Do you know how it feels to be rushed, even if you have the time in the world? To have to pull down your shorts as fast as you can and scramble into a tight pair of jans fearing the door might fling open any second? I do, and I hate it. It raises my stress level, I'm certain it does. That's why I got staphylococcus locus in my right eye during the summer. It's not because of my contacts, maybe my mascara played a tiny role, and maybe Jayj did too, but the doctor announced it was stress. Not it was most likely becuase of stress, but simply becuase I was way too stressed for way too long, and my body couln't take it, so my eyeball exploded or some shit. This PLACE. This Goddamned hell of a place fucking turned my right eyeball into a red monster. Getting my red blood cells to fucking try to scar my eye and make me blind? Shit. Damn, I finished the 2 fruit roll ups he gave me. Now I'm more sad. Sorry, off topic. I feel so ashamed. I don't know, but coming here turned me into this... this monster. I'm not even overexaggerating. I don't even know what I am anymore. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have people like you pulling me back towards earth. Me? Down to earth? Down to earth, my ass. I seem to always drift off into space, maybe sometimes I don't want to come back down from all the twinkling little starsup above the world so high. When people think, "What the hell is wrong with this girl?"or "What's her problem?" or maybe even "Why is she like this?", they won't even know half of the story. Maybe you'd know part of it because you've gone through something similar to me as well. But this is old news, I've pushed it back. I'm not gloomy because of this whole THING, I'm grumpy because of the weather. That's it. So rain rain go away. Come again tomorrow. And the next day and the next. My week I know, it won't be going too well until this rain stops and I snap out of this stage. I can't go back to smiling and not being all anal until the sun comes out now, can I?