I haven't cried this hard since 8 months ago.
It hurts so fucking much and I don't even know what to say to make him stay anymore.
Because everything I say comes out wrong.
And I'm hurting myself more and more with every word I type.
I'm not trying to be cliche, but it hurts so fucking much. Down to the core of my fucking heart.

I don't want to leave it all behind.

O8.O6.O9 ; O8.14.O9<3
So I don't forget.


Did you hear me when I whispered, "I wish you'd fall in love with me."?

Onion

My blog layout ran away so I'm stuck with this one. Hey, at least Jedd can comment on my posts now.

I'm so glad I met him. It's only been a little over a week and I'm liking him more and more. The tables have turned possibly; it's me that wants him more now. I liked the feeling of falling asleep on top of him and waking up to see his face. I liked eating noodles out of one bowl with him on my balcony like the true Asians we are. I liked holding his hand while we walked. I liked how he came at 3AM just to see me and stayed even when we had nothing to do. I liked how he blogged about me. He makes me smile so much, and I'm scared I'll lose it all completely when I go back. I haven't talked to him for over 48 hours and I'm already asdfghjkl; and missing him. D:

I saw Hanna today. It was enjoyable.<3>

Simple things

I've been living at Soo's house for like 3 days already. Finally got home.
We were lazy bums today. :D

It's such a nice warm feeling falling asleep with somebody you love/like. ^____^<3

I know you don't read my blogs, but if you happen to glance at this, I want you to know you make me happy and you give me hopes of a better future. I love you and I miss you quite terribly, even if I sound all anal on the phone. Truly.

Hmph. Rant rant rant.

You selfish, bitter, demanding, cameraslut. >:[
Hey you. This is a hate blog kinda thing. Okay? Read it.

Haha. I still love you even if you broke my heart. Naw. Literally shredded it to pieces. I feel worser than those girls who would have suffered my wrath. You know the whole, "that bitch should get herpes and genital warts and get run over by a truck, and still be alive so she could experience masses of pigeons shitting on her poor body." You get me? Of course I'll miss your 9 inched dick. And our sex position demonstration on your poorstuffed dog. Haha. I wish my phone wasn't broken because then you'd call me and yell at me for cheating on you and I could hear you complain to me all over again. Or have you tell me you stole a chicken leg this time. I know you crave for my attention, baby. (: Here's a full blog dedicated to you.
WAIT WTF?! My mom took 20$ from me to buy noodles. THAT I DON'T EVEN WANT. How unappetizing. And that was the money she gave to pay for my immensely hard work moving 230742 pounds of stuff up 2 flights of stairs. UGH. And now I have to go to CVS to buy some bobby pins and hair ties. I'm gonna try to convince my mom to buy me razors. Seriously, I haven't shaved in 2 month already. -_________- But know that I love you.<3>

Today's gonna be boring.

I have to pick up my dog today because I missed her fatass too much. I'm so fucking tired. I'm not even kidding.
PART 1
Yesterday, I woke up pretty early and watched Sky of Love with Arimi but I had to go to Jane's place.
I saw Jane! Aghhhh, I love her so much. She opens the door, I scream, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFEEE?!" and she screams. Then when we get inside, she says, "You're still alive!" Wow. We play Rockband, I fail miserably, but hey! I thought I was pretty good for a person playing for the secondeth time. Then we walk walk walk through the forest to Annandale Terrace, and I see Mrs. Altenburger!<3 We walked back to Jane's casa, and looked at all my old letters I wrote to her. I was so lame and homo. >__________< Then we went to Old Country Buffet, and BoHyun couldn't come. My friiking Giraffe, Jane and I acted like such retards. We ate and we were trying tro gross out the Korean people on the table next to us. "I JUST FARTED" and "OH MY GOD I THINK I QUEEFED" then laughing real loud and obnoxiously. AFter, we did the icecream challenge. On our chocolate/vanilla icecream, we put corn, beef gravy, spaghetti sauce, some crunchy shit, nacho cheese, beans, some huge ass prune, and some other crap. It looked fucking disgusting. So we have to eat it all, and the guys that sat in the table behing me were like "They're fucking eating that shit dawg!" We only ate 3 bites, and got sick. It was so fucking grossss. Then we were showing off Latania Shanaynay. I was waving him around, and the guys behind us were like "Oh shit is that a dildo?!" anddd "Baby got bick dick!" I think they thought we were retarded. When we left, they left too, and they like hinked and drove around the parking lot three times and then the black guy nodded his head at me. The shiz. Why do guys always nod their heads at me? Why can't they say "hi" or something. In school too. I walk past, my guy friend nods. So I nod back, but it doesn't feel cool at all, it feels lame. Anyhow, I came home then went with my momma to park her car and walked back jumping and singing "WHY CAN'T YOU SEEEEEEEE~ YOU BELONG WITH MEEEE~" at the top of my lungs while spitting out grape seeds.
Part 2
I had to go to sleep at 12PM, but I couldn't sleep so I came out to the living room to finish Sky of Love. It was a cute movie. Hiro's kinda cute but his voice just kills it. Disgusting. D: At about 3AM, he tells me he can come to Annandale, and then in like another 5 minutes, he's already here while I'm trying to look for my shirt I lost. I still can't find it. I can't believe I took it off last night and it disappeared just like that. T___T It was raining outside and I had to like be uber quiet and sneak out. It was so scary outside. All dark and wet and strangers lurking about.And then yadayada then it was 6AM so we had to go. I suppose. I came home and fell asleep on the carpet. I'm gonna go back to sleep, shiz I'm so tired. But I'm happy. (:

Jane and my babies are sexy. Latania Shanaynay Pham and Tammy Denise Yang.<3

You...

were so unexpected; like some astray meteor fallen from the sky. Landed right smack in the center of my frozen heart. You're slowly melting my sadness away. I don't know you yet, but I'll let ME figure you out. As much as I'd like to turn around and run from all these small "obstacles"(nonamusingshitintheway), I'll let myself get hurt possibly, obtain happiness possibly, and gain a friend possibly so that I can get a glimpse of who you really are. You may fuck me over, and I won't blame anyone for that, but I'd like to put some faith in fate. You're a sweettalker. You're tall. You're deep and mildy perverted. You can make me smile, a lot. I still don't know much about you. Is there time? You tell me. I'd like to make at least a tiny impact in your life though; leave something (memories?) behind.

I have no idea what to write. I'm really out of it.

Anyways, I'm glad I met you.
We have the same burfdays. HIGHFIVE! ^___^
Coincidence? Maybe not.

P.S. I'm not too afraid of falling. I'm afraid you won't catch me once I hit the bottom.