I have never been this disappointed in my life.

I don't want to talk to anyone anymore.

I feel so stupid. Like wtf? I give you trust and you use it against me.

I am seriously foolish. I don't care if it was the truth on AIM or phone.

Because if it were to e on AIM, it'd mean losing you.

But if it was the truth on the phone, then it would have been you messed with my head, mind, heart, and whatever else I have left.

You were lying either way. You deliberately lied to me.

Your goal has been acheived, I am hurt more than you can ever imagine.

Hurt more than you would ever witness at this age.

Thank you. I feel so much smarter now. Next time, I'll know not to trust anyone.

Ever. What I said to Christina is true.

At them moment, my heart has frozen into a solid black stone.

I have no thought on fixing it. I wish you'd know what to do to fix it.

If not, I'll die like this. I know you won't though because it's been me trying so hard to fix something that was surreal.

I'm hurt and disappointed. Thanks for doing this while I was on my period. You chose the time well.

Fucking strike me when I'm weakest. SO I don't know anything else but to cry.

parttimelover;fulltimefriend♥

I have never blogged this much in a day before. Probably because I'm anxious. Mozilla is being gheyy so I'm on Safari. I am SO utterly CONFUSED. I really should be doing homework, but it's too hot for that. I wish I could be who I was a year ago. I hate how corrupted I am. o___o I'm so bad now. In a way. Not a bad person. In fact I wish I was how I was like in kindergarten. Innocent, charming, lovable as hell. I was like the sunshiney kid. Always smiling except something happened along my growing ages. It's like I've built a shell and live in it. Not allowing others to come in. What the fuck am I spewing. Okay. Uhhh, ugh. I am gonna go do my fucking homework. And then watch Mean Girls or White Chicks. =/ kjaskajsdlajihatethisflafjkajndkd.

i decided not to go to Knott's.

huggggerrrr

I feel miserable. But not that miserable, because I keep thinking "THIS IS NOT HAPPENING".
Which is what I want to believe. I feel fucking stupid.
Yeah I cry for no reason, but I don't think you label yourself as "nothing".
I think I'll wait. For a long time.
Because it's not just you as a guy, it's you as my friend.
And I care about my friends a lot. You can walk out as a guy, but don't leave as a friend. I beg you.
I fucking PRAYED to God. "Please God let him pick up let him pick up."
I care. I've cared. So I will stand. Sit. Lie down. Whatever and wait.
Today, I was thinking of staying in bed all day, but FUUUUCK whatever.
I have to g to Knott's and I wish I could call Sophia, but I feel so disarrayed and it's so hectic.
Shit, why now? sakdjakdj.
And I hope my dad gets better soon.

Fuck

I can't sleeeeep. And I have school tomorrow.
I got my period today, so I'm grouchy and in pain. Ughh. WHY TODAY?!
I miss my beta fishies. )=
I think I;m gonna go add my cousin on Myspace, because!
"Family matters." :D

Update

So I'm really tired right now. I'm exhausted!
Sunday, was uh A BLAST. Lol I'm kidding, that term is lame. It was okay.
I got to go to church, and I'm pretty happy about that. I hope to go every Sunday now.
I made Woojin come. And Hanna came too which was a nice surprise.
After, my daddy took all of us to the Block. I bought like stuff.
Haha. I couldn't get my Red Converse because I bought a hippo instead.
After I went to Grace's house and watched Ponyo.
We fell asleep past 2AM after harassing people by texting them gibberish.
I had the most fucking awesomest dream ever. It was like SO cool.
Like an action film, when I grow up, I should make it into a movie.
Today, I woke up like 9:33 then fell asleep again.
Woke up around 11, showered, andddd ate breakfast.
Then I made videos with Grace, and then went out to take pictures.
After, it got too hot so we came inside and I played Wii with Junha.
Then Grace got in trouble so I played Bust-A-Move on Junha's PS2.
I kept losing so out of frustration, I chose to play Rockband.
Grace came back and then played with us too. I'm SOOOO good at it.
LOL. The singing and guitar. AND, I'm hella good on the drums.
Just kidding. D: We played for like 2 hours.
AND THEEEN! We went to 24 hour fitness. Omgosh.
I haven't gotten this much exercise since like August 14. Sheesh.
I like went on the treadmill for 25 minutes and burned 116.8 calories.

MY DREAM WAS AWESOME.

It just feels right. You have that ONE person. Everybody does.
This ONE person, that walks in and out of your life.
The ONE you claim to be over, to have moved on from.
Then you go out to other people, but end up hurting them because this ONE is nailed inside your heart.
You experience and learn with other people, but in the end it's you and him/her that comes together.
It's just one of my theories. (; I have weird theories.


And in the moment, it feels so right to be wearing your gray shirt. How it hugs me so perfectly.


OMFG, I'm freaking cleaning out my closet. I fund 18 shirts&1 sweats I don't wear, and I'm not even through with my whole clothes yet.
I also have like 12 pairs of jeans I never wear because they're all flares, but nobody would buy them. >:[