But you decided to be here with me.
No coincidence, it was meant to be.
I'm soooo bored. I got bullied so much yesterday after school. )'=
Haha. Well, this is another iWISH iHOPE iTHINK iTALK blog.
I have to get ready for Arimi's birthday thing soon.

I feel as if the only thing that keeps me walking down the path of life is my hopes for the future.

I'm so glad we're still friends. It's kind of scary looking back and realizing there was a point when we liked each other so much. It was puppy love. (: It's so weird that you still have my notebook. GIVE IT BACK. ajhdsakd. I want to see what I wrote to you back in the days. LOL. I shall take it away from you when I come visit. I can't believe I walk past your house like so many times yet you never pop out and go "HI JANICE". Faggot, you're probaly sleeping whenever I pass by.

I feel a closure since I know I'm not in love with you anymore. I don't know if you'll ever read this, but I want to say thank you and say sorry. I can't be mad at you forever, and you can't be mad at me forever. I've let go of that anger a long time ago, but I feel that you're still hanging onto it. In fact, sometimes I feel you're building a huge wall of anger around you. I'm pretty sure you have a grudge against me. There's no point saying this to you, so might as well blog it out. It took me well over 6 months, but I feel so free now, and I think it's time you let go, too. I honestly don't think you're over any of it yet. It'll be better if you do, I promise. I still want to be friends because we were close, but I'm disappointed you were only close to me because you had feelings for me. I honestly trusted you and you broke that trust, but I still gave you my trust. I trusted you until the end, I trusted you with my feelings, my heart, my soul, and my future. You shattered all of them besides my heart. I'm glad my heart stayed. It still has a crack in it though, and that's your impact. I believe I am the person I am today because of you. I became pessimistic, but that;s okay. I was mad for a time because I hated what I had become. I still kind of do. I wish I could change ack to what I was before you. But. I learned from you and us. I don't regret us happening. You taught me commitment. For a long time I wanted commitment with only you, and I'm pretty sure I hurt some people because of that. I thought you knew me, but you don't. I don't even know who you are outside and inside. That makes me sad. =/ I let go of you. I won't try to mend anything broken between us. You're not the person that pops into mind anymore. You were before, but now I have someone else that comes to mind from time to time. That's good enough for me. I hurt someone a lot because you were the first thing, but not anymore. I've finally hit the play button.

You kind of helped me get over that guy up there. ^^^ But instead, you gave me your pain to get over. I'm over it. It took me about... 2 and a half weeks to get over it. I think I was so caught up with you and your actions that I didn't see who you were. Now I do, and I believe someday a girl will walk in your life and have you whipped and change you for the better. Good luck with that. I actually enjoyed the time I had with you. It was nice. I got a glimpse of a stable relationship. I was happy in the moment, but because of you tugging at my heart, I hurt someone. I was stupid because he's right, I did have someone who cared about me so much back at home. I think because I accepted you, he doesn't care about me as much anymore. >__<>

You. I still need some room for you. At the moment, I'm utterly confused about us. What am I to you? Am I even important? I'm so confused with what's been happening these past weeks. I guess I throw fits and make it a big deal, but I just want it to be back to normal again. That's all. Like the late night phone calls. I admit, I probably miss that the most. Haha. RIght now I think you think I'm a bad person. I guess I am after guy #2. I was heartless for a while. And I gained a lot of love back because of you. I didn't know at the time, but I can imagine you helped mend my cracked heart a lot. So that only one remained instead of a hundred. But what have I done for you? I wish I made you happy for a while. Or that I still do somehow. Because despite all this confusion and hurt, you make me happy with little things. Like just calling me "babe" still gives me hopeless hope. I admit, your face is the one I look for now in the immense crowd. And now that it is, I'm down to my lowest point. It was you that liked me more, cared more, and I didn't acknowledge that, but now I do. Because it's me down here now. But I don't care. I wish one day there will be a chance that we become equal. If you allow it. Honestly, right now I'm not willing to let go like I did for the others. Because you weren't/aren't a puppylove. You didn't continue giving me sorrow after sorrow. I used to smile a lot when I talked to you. (: And you would never be like guy #3. I know it. You're nowhere near perfect. And I love imperfections. You're nowhere near full maturity although you can be serious from time to time. But I love youthfulness. You hate corny. I AM the queen of corn. I know you can't hang on anymore. Or was that an assumption? You hate assumptions. I still think your babo. You know babo is boba backwards. I'm so smart. (: What the hell am I saying. haha. :D Ohmygosh look at how many smiley faces I used talking about you. Lemme close saying this: When I talked to you until the birds started singing and night turned to morning, that's when I realized, "OH DAYUMM HE'S AMAZING". Haha. What the heck. How did your paragraph become so long? >___<

I have a wish that I will oneday find that imperfect relationship. Not the kind of imperfectness I had with guy #2 filled with hurt and lies, but a happy imperfectness.
Like playing rock, paper, scissors to see who washes the dishes that day.
Like playing video games with each other on weekends and playing board games on the floor on a sunny day.
Like texting each other when we're an inch away from each other.
Like sticky candy kisses.
Like cuddling and tickling each other.
Like watching kiddy movies in bed.
Like singing together at the top of our lungs.
Like attempting to cook food together.
Like being the last thing he sees before his eyes close and being the first thing he sees in the morning.
And the one he kisses even if you both have morning breath.
My kind of love.♥

So, who would hold you whenever you cry? Who would make you smile?
You'd just leave that to me. I want you to leave that to me.
When you're insecure, who would let you know that you're the most beautiful?
Baby, just leave that to me. I want you to leave that to me.
From the compliments to the arguments, there's nothing we won't go through.
I would lead for us, I don't care about the rest as long as we're together.
I want to be the girl that you brag about telling all your friends, "She's so good to me, yeah she's so good to me".
And my family will be asking me if I'm truly ready and I'll tell them, "You're so good to me, you are so good to me".
You're my final destination and I'm about to settle down.
Cuhs I found what I was looking for; never gonna let him go.
No questions, you're my only remedy.
Cuhs you make me stay. You make me stay forever.
Cuhs what I feel is deeper then all that I've ever known, all that I've ever felt before.
I'm where the grass is greener, it snows where the sun is stronger.
I'm right where I want to be-right outside your front door.
You're my final destination<3