FartmonstergoesFARTnotRAWR

My title is soooo lame. Haha.
Well today the radiostation 106.7 decided to visit our school, but barely any students came to support it.
I went cuhs on the announcements, it said they would give out free stuff, but it got boring so Arimi, Sandy, and I left and went to our "little corner(:" as Courtney says a.k.a. the front of the school.
School was normal. Today Marjorie told me something abnormal and Jennifer and I gushed over it like the girls we are tend to do. ;]
Biology test was okay. My test version was 07 and seven is my lucky number so I felt pretty good about the test.
Credit Recovery, we took a test. Students wanted the notes up on the board, and the guy that sits next to me, Elias(I think) and I rock-paper-scissored with Mr. A to keep the notes on the board, but we both lost. So the notes were erased.
After, going to tutor, I came home and realized that I didn't have my keys! I barely got home juss now and it's like 8.
I called Jay Lee and asked him to open the door for me, and he let me stay at his house.
LMAOOO. He's so nice when he wants to be. You know I haven't seen him since like 4 months ago, and we're neighbors! That's juss sad. D=
First we were sitting on the sofa talking, and he would NOT tell me a story. >:[
So I told him a story with a refrigerator involved in the plot and I made him smileeee.(:
We were gonna play Brawl on his Wii, but his brother, Kenny let somebody borrow it. -.-;;
Kenny kept coming out to pee! He pees so much. He didn;t know I was there so I lied down on the sofa to hide and I could hear him pee and whistle. LOL. xD
Then I tried teaching Jay French, and he said I sound totally Asian accented. Grrr.
We went out so he could teach me to skate. I fail at doing olleys. He promised he wouldn't laugh, but he laughed at me while I was in my fail moments of attempting to skate and stumbling off the skateboard. I mean, I'm not so skillful like him.
I told him I was scared that I'd fall, and he was like, "So? I fall all the time." So I said, "You're a guy. You can man it up."
Then he came with a [lameee] comeback. "You're a girl. You can girl it up. Put some glitter on it!" Gosh.<3 Oh yeah! HE GOT SO FRIIKING TALL! Like no kidding! He got so tall, I reach his eyes now. :[ I used to be the same height as him. Ugh, I'm so short. I tried teasing his hair, but his hair is all silky lusciously like a girl's hair so it wouldn't stay. I want his hair! So undamaged!
Then we looked at his baby pictures! I'm the first non-family member to see them! I'm so special. :D He was so Q when he was a baby!
Bahaha. I feel bad cuhs I stayed at his house for like over an hour. x[ Then my dad came home and yelled at me for losing my keys; so I'm gonna go look for it.



My day was decent, but I think my mom's sick. (Cancer?) I pray for her every night. I want her to be healthy. :[

Skylar Rose

That's what I want to name our daughter. If God ever gives me the chance to make it up.
You're right. You do know me most.

And I thought I was the one who was utterly clueless.
It's okay. I understand. I know how it feels.
It was me who has always been in your position before.
You don't know how I'm trying to keep my head in my studies.
How scary my parents are. How scared I am.
How afraid I was to talk to you online fearing that your parents would be there.
How guilty I felt sneaking calls. How stupid I was to even think I could escape your grasp.
I hate the way you trash talk about me to others. I'm that low to you.
I hate how hurtful your words may be. More hurtful than a punch to my face.
It makes me restless, melancholic, and crazy for hours. I keep saying they're words, but they're your words.
I hate being home. The bed, the sofa, Munchkin, the bathroom counter, my mirror. You're reflected off of everything.
I hate how I'm trapped, how stupid I was, how stupid I am.
I hate how I always chased after you and decided I wanted you to chase after me, and you turned around because you didn't want to run.
I hate the way you treat me. I'm not even a human being to you. I'm some dog.
How I'm never worth your time, how you never keep your words, how our pinky promise means nothing.
I tried to keep the tension in my house low; tried to keep my promise with my mom.
I didn't succeed in that, and only gained your hatred instead. I've lost everything.
I have nothing to lose and I'm trying so hard to gain my happiness back, but it's gone.
I'm scared to even post this because you'll give me back harsh feedback.
When you told me you would have done everything last month, that was a bluff.
I wanted you to come to school and be standing there by my locker.
I wanted you to be by the green gates at 6pm when I came back from tutor.
I got nothing but the wind and the sounds of trees rustling, people talking, life moving.
I give up. I do. I'm so sick and tired of all this going around in circles.
It's been this way ever since May of last year. I hate this feeling I get every time we're not connected.
I hate that you neglect the thought of us ever having something. More than something even.
Maybe it was my fantasies and wishes. I loved every single fucking moment of it though.
Is this God's idea of a punishment? He's doing a really good job of it.
No. I'm sorry God. I know you love me.
I'm sorry I threw away family, friends, and my life for him. I couldn't help it.
Remember I used to pray every night to you begging for forgiveness and asking you to let us be together.
I prayed to you telling you that I loved him. That I was stupid, but I loved him, and that I'd try to fix it.
I only fucked things up. What am I going to do with myself?
Now it's back to crying. I hate pitying myself. I hate this whole situation life traps me in.
I wish I had no worries like before. I hate the complications. I'm too dumb for this.
I'm back to being the pathetic obnoxious girl trying so hard to get something so out of reach.
I wish if I walked past, he'd fall right back in love again. That won't happen will it?
Like the time after our first super huge argument in June. It was all hell and the next day, I was safe and warm in his arms again? No it's not. I'm scared. The world is too big and too critical for me to face on my own.


And now nobody holds my hands or smiles for me anymore.

Gibberish

I went to target and bought myself hairspray. YAYYYY!
My dad didn't buy me the Sims2 Double Deluxe no matter how much I pleaded him and told him I'd pay him back.
He bought me 1/2 pound of shrimp and cajun fries from Boiling Crab though. I love that place!
I brought my food home and watched Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets.
Now all the characters are all grown up! Tom Felton who plays Draco Malfoy, man, he is hothothawt.<3
I cut my index finger while peeling shrimp. It hurts, but then again I'm being dramatic.
I bandaged it up.

Cavewoman

Being grounded has made me so cuh-ray-zee.
I now read FMLs and play omgpop every weekends.
I even made a stupid video and now is trying to learn this song on my mini piano.

LMAO. I'm such a retard. I failll. My piano is small and cute. Sophia Xue gave it to me.<3

Well I'm gonna go practice some moreeee! :D

Galaxies and stars

can't compare to my love.

I worked my ass off on that letter.
It's cold. I'm cold. I feel colder than the temperature outside. It's so dreary.
It's stupid of me to have thought your smile meant something and your words were true.
It's okay. I won't let myself regret it because I'm the one that never stopped. I succeed.
Such harsh words obviously hurt because I thought we had something together.
No whatevers. Just walking straight past. It'll disappear. I'll disappear.

My dad doesn't notice that I got a haircut. Lol.

I cut my bangs today! It looks wretched. ^_________^
Yesterday, Tiffany and I walked to Tastea's and we walked Patrick home.
He was being a bully and kept trying to flatten down my hair.
Then we made a bet that if I whined or screamed during the walk, I'd owe him money for every time I screamed or whined.
I owe him 3 fucking dollars. T_______T
Then me and Tiffany went to Lee's to pee and buy coconut pancakes.
Then we were walking back to Bolsa and we told ghost/scary stories. A bus went past and we both got scared. D:
Then Tiffany left after a while and then Johnny bought me a chocolate dick icecream and it melted all over me.
I know how to break dance! (pfft i wish) And we told stories in a triangle with him and my best friend.

I worked/stressed myself out for stupid shit yesterday. Ugh. Why do I even bother?

Twilight fans and hot chocolate

I blame the sofa. Yes and that stupid wrapper.
I'm stuck home every weekend with nothing much to do.
This is so pathetic. I read fmylife.com and looked at pictures of the Twilight cast basically the whole day.

See what I mean? But I honestly love these two pictures.

Mannn Twilight obsessed fangirls are so. Idk. It's annoying.
They need to get a life and their own boyfrands! Edward is Bella's! And I prefer Jacob.
Even Taylor Lautner is cuter than Robert Pattinson.
I read Twilight twice when I was in seventh grade. It's that old!
I remember seeing that book at Lanier Middle School's book fair. It caught my eye immediately.
Sadly, I didn't have enough money so I didn't buy it. I found it at Borders and bought it later on in the year.
I remember that day when it snowed, and school was canceled cuhs of icy roads.
I was snuggled up in bed with Mimi by my side reading Twilight with my silver lamp on and my MP3 radio on to Hot 99.5.
Then Hannah Yoon called me out to play with her in the snow so I left the book on my bed and dressed in a puffy winter outfit.
After, I came home and drank a cup of hot coco specifically made with milk for creaminess.
I miss it.
I'm so hungry right now. I'm gonna go make myself clam chowder. I should watch Nick&Norah's Infinite Playlist.
Or read the book all over again. I love the book so much. It's so cute!
Nick
I do close my eyes. I hear the cars passing, not just in front of us, but on the streets throughout the grid. I hear the buildings yawning into space. I hear my heartbeat. I have this momentary fantasy that she's going to lean over and kiss me again.
Norah
Here I am at the crossroads of the world, with shining red-and-white neon lights and yellow taxis, humming with action and pulsing with music and people, danger and excitement, but hearing Dad's voice, it's like I am five years old again and he's tucking his little princess into bed.
I love it. They should totally make a movie for Naomi&Ely's No Kiss List also.
Man I'm gonna go microwave me some New England Clam Chowder now. Yummy.
I hate how my Shift key is being a motherfucking retard.

You+Me=Us?

This is so hard for me. I feel like a stupid slut. I let my stupid hormones/yearnings take over my heart.
I've always been the one advising others not to follow their hearts. I think I'm following my advice right now.
I came soooo far. I'm scared if I glance back, I'll turn around and throw it all away again. Just for you.
I have so much to tell you. If only I could.
I have to stop being so stupid. I need to set limits. I have to stop. Yeah I'm probably a stupid slut like you say.
Maybe I AM wrong. Maybe I'm the one that has changed.
It's complicated. I want this, but I want that also. The only reason I'm blogging is to let it out.
I never told you to read my blogs. You make me smile even if you're being a jerk.
This burden/stress is pulling me down. It feels worser than a Fear Factor episode.
You're really killing my mood right now. Like really. I'm on the verge of being disgusted.
I wish that you'd still be the closest thing ever. My half. My hippo.
It seems like a once upon a time. I'm hoping the future will ravel and let things work out.
I'm pretty shure you still care. You're not cruel. I know it.
I miss our adventures.
"Watching" movies, hugs, fighting on the streets, me sitting on the middle of the sidewalk with my pouty lips, you cursing, me yelling, us walking and yelling, people staring, making up, making out, busing to Photosticker,
I still love Lee's Sandwiches. Your words that are trying to push me down and break me apart, I'll ignore.
You're only cold-hearted because you can't have what you want.
I miss your bed, wearing your boxers, struggling with your PS3, piggybacks. ^____^
I'm keeping our pinky promise. Life might not be fulfilling enough for me, but your impact on my life is exciting enough.
I need a fresh start. Forget the past. Start another story ona clean empty page.
I'm glad I'm not crying as much nowadays. I don't care. Get over me. It'd be like Arial without her voice.
I would do so many things to make this better if I weren't in this position right now.
Us seperating was a thing nobody expected. It was like OMFG TROY AND GABRIELLA BROKE UP.
I guess I should get used to it. I like this freedom. I wish you were more open and trusting.
I'm always going around in circles with you. Forever and ever interwined with this feeling.
I don't regret anything. I know what's going to happen later on. Guess I'm the winner then? ;]

I guess you're right. You+Me=Me+You. There's no Us, and you're not fixing it.
I care deeply, but I'm just going to go wherever I end up going. It's a matter of faith and time.

Flight

Today I had the dopest whack ass dream ever! I'll go into further details in a bit.
My bestfriend called me to check up on me. I think? Whatta sweetie.<3

Three thoughts just popped into my head:
1. Roaming West mall and wandering inside Game Stop with AnthonyTran to gape&point at the new Nintendo DSi.
2. Exhausted after getting in a fight with StevenKang over WoojinChoi at Knott's which led to getting lost&crying, threatening to throw away my darling Pink Caterpillar he won me, losing&searching for NoelReynolds, only to walk to McDonald's and rush towards the Drive-Thru with GraceBaek to stomp on a half lit cigarette and sit on the curb laughing.
3. Being locked out with MargaretLopez in front of her townhouse in Fairfax Square. Having a strange man lift me up to the window and try to break in, but gaining only dirty socks and a ripped window screen instead.

I'm immature and childish. Sometimes, the thought of forgetting age is what urges me on.

The saddest thing in the world, is loving someone who used to love you.

So my dream was... hard to explain. Here it goes.

Deep in sleep. Wandering a supermarket; pushing a cart-looking for grapes. Cute guy worker helping me. Runrunrun out to the woods with my grapes. Baby. A baby. Gone. Home, screen door, cockroaches. Ten, twenty, thirty cockroaches on my screen door. Scream. Slam! Gone: flies away and shatters into dust. In my room. Doesn't look like my room. It's my room. Mom. Mom with long hair up in a bun. Mom... falls out the window. Throat slit. Emperor takes her away. No! Old days. No bikes exist except mine. I have a bike. Ride ride ride to the palace. Plan with dad. Dad runs. Gone. Alone under a chair. Emperor sees. Grins. Gleams. Grabs. I cry. Ask for my dad. I'm playing along fine. Asks for mom. Emperor believes I'm clueless until he spots my red bike. Yells. He's angry. Dad is taken away. Dad. Mom. Alone... Home again. Rides bike. Grabs emperor's servant and pushes her in the pool. She's screaming, sputtering, sinking. Gone. Bike gone. Scooter. Wobbly silver scooter with broken brakes. I like! I'm home. Sweating. Changes into a pink sweater and eats grape. Heads out on my wobbly scooter. Back at the palace. Is mom dead? Is dad okay? Dad. Over there. Mom. Mom is okay. Helicopter? Plane? A flying device. Green, small, perfect. Emperor's army plane is landing. Need to escape. Escape mom, dad. They run, launch off. Adrenaline. Engine isn't connected. Falling falling; four feet touches the ground. Lifts off and is up high. Engine roars and parachute opens. Wind blows. Smiles. Free. God calls? Dad calls? Bob calls? Who's Bob? Cockroaches. Red bike. Hair flowing, in the sky, smiles, snaps. Gone.

I know my writing makes no sense. It's how I remember my dream. It was whack!
Lol. Well I wanted to write it down. I hope you were sane enough not to read that mess up there.
Yeappppp. I look like shiett. D; I hope the swelling goes away by Tuesday night.

FUCKMYLIFE

Fuck it! It's the last day of spring break. If I have to go to school tomorrow, I will cry and die.
Thursday was Kevin Le's bonfire. It was fairly decent. Besides what happened afterwords.

When we were driving to the beach, Whitney and I had to trunk. We made faces at people and got 5 people to wave at us!

Katie was soooo darn hilarious in the van. Barking like a dog and singing Kiss Me Thru the Phone. xD
Mia Huynh was so mean to me. D: She's always mean in a sweet way.

After Thursday, since I'm such an abnormal child with sensitive skin towards sunlight and seawater, I BLOATED.
Like swelling err'where. I still am swollen. D"= My hands, feet, and face. I had like neegah lips.
My eye region is still swollen A LOT. Can barely open my eyes, and I'm already chinky. Give me a break. -.-;;
I was totally knocked out on Friday. I slept the whole damn day until 9pm.
I had to go to the Emergency Room Friday night, and have an IV shot with medication shooting up my blood veins.
SCAWY. T_________T -shudders- I look like a fat chinese man combined with a naked blind rat. FMLFMLFML.
I've been living off of Dr. Pepper, junk food, and three medication these past 3 days.
My dad is being super nice to me though. He went to go buy me gummy bears. ^_______^
I'm done ranting about how hideously deformed and miserable I am.

I know you can never be over it. Or maybe I'm just bluffing myself.

It seems that I can never live in the present. I'm always drifting to the past and future. So I'm going to talk about my future.
After I'm out of highschool, I'll set things right with you.
I'm sorry I can't do what I've always wanted to do for you. I can't even do the things you want me to do.
I promise you, when I'm out of highschool, out of my parent's clutches, I'm finding you. I'll make things perfect.
I pinky promise. Or maybe that won't happen, but I still want to be on the right foot with you.
I know I'm being stupid and hard-headed, but I'm a stubborn child and you know that. You know me most.
When I'm 18, I'm going to move out from my parent's place to Anthony's place.
His supposedly HUGEEEE house with like 15 rooms. I'm gonna rent that place for like $300 only and raid his fridge.
I'm gonna play Sims2 with my boo boo and sneak into his dorm room in UCI. :D
I'm going to get a job when I'm 16! And make tons of money. Yayyayyay.
I hate that my life will be set into motion when I'm already out of highschool. I hate how my parents are holding me back all the time. I'm missing out on so much. It's frustrating how they're preventing me from living life.
I've made mistakes and I've fucked up, but I take the consequences and learn from them.
STOP BEING SO ASIAN. >:O

I'm done with the future rant too. My eyes barely open. I look like shit right now. =[
That's all. I'm gonna go read fmylife.com and go grab another can of Dr. Pepper to add to my unhealthy lifestyle.

Knock please!

Today, I bused to West mall with my girliefrand.
He made us go inside Bolsa Grande, then the gate was locked so we missed our bus and had to walk all the way around and wait for another bus. >:O
We took cool kid pics on the bus and a handicapped man laughed at Anthony cuhs I called him an IDIOT.(:

We got off the bus and took a visit to PETCO. The mousies were so cute! Anthony looks like a guinea pig. :D
Then we went to Jamba Juice. Anddd got a little bit lost, but managed to make it to the mall.
We went to Hot Topic and he tried on skinny jeans, but we both decided it doesn't match him. TWLOHA♥

We got in trouble because there should be "NO GROUP ACTIVITIES IN THE DRESSING ROOM!"

Then we went to Anchor Blue and bought Anthony pretty jeans!
Then Hollister, PacSun, and VICTORIA'S SECRET! >:D
We ran into Katie and Christy. =D Then Old Navy!

We tried on sunglasses and I made him take pictures wiff meh. YAYYY.

He ordered food from Panda Express and I stole some of his food.

After, we had to wait at the bus stop with a bunch of fobs and I kept singing "Hey There Delilah" to bug Anthony.
When we were on the bus I sorta dozed off then Anthony was all, "The bus is going to turn, we have to get out."
I woke up and ran off the bus and then the bus didn't turn and instead juss went straight in the direction of our homes.
SO... Anthony and I walked walked walked. We had to walk through red fuzzy plants surrounded by bees. T____T
Then we started rating people on a scale of 1-10. xD ANDDDD we finally reached the bus stop then he went home.
Later, I went to Noel's house and ate frozen lychee. I say lye-chee. Not lee-chee.
We watched The Last House on the Left. It was sorta creepy/disturbing.
This one lady could not keep her boobs in her shirt. They were popping out everywhere.
And a guy got his hand shredded in the sink dispenser thing. >_______>
And in the end, some man's head blew up from a microwave thingy.
Yeah that's all. (: Tomorrow is bonfire!<3

Mine

You have stolen my heart.
I'm at such comfort leaned against my boxes filled with my shopping bag collections and junks wrapped in my Spiderman blankie, typing away on my pretty laptop. (:
The only think bugging me is that I'm still itchy and that I'm alone lone lone.
I can't wait to get out. Well not really get out.
I have so many hopes and dreams planned out, and I don't want to wait until I'm 20 to start accomplishing them.
I have so much to do! In such little time.
At this age, I want to move out of this 1 bedroom place. I will get my own closet, buy colord clothes hangers and color coordinate my clothes!
I want my own bed, a desk, and a dresser. WOOOH.
AND A CHIWUAHWAUH! >:D
I FAIL AT MAKING VIDEOS. Total fail. D=
Anyways. I got distracted. I don't want to blog anymore. URG.
I've always wanted to move out when I turn 18. I want to move in a 1 bedroom apartment with a future boyfrand.
We can study for school, eat breakfast, sleep, shower, and play video games on weekends.
I'm going to make that happen. Fo'sho!
Then I have two choices. I'm either going live with my bestfrend with our doggies and live with him OR!
Work at Jack In the Box and get abducted by a scary robber. :[
Well I was going to go into deep serious shit, but my mood got ruined. So tada. Byeee!

QWERTY

My best friend just called me stupid.
-.-;;

Oh whatever life is full of bullsheet anyways.
I miss my gf Anthony Tran. He signed off on me.
Probably to eat his foot-long. What a fattie.
I'm his Edward Cullen and he's my Bella Swan.
We are going to go shopping on Wednesday and I will make him beautiful!

Janice: what time do you think we'll get home?

Anthony: whenever time you want.

Anthony: i

Anthony: Edward Cullen

Anthony: will take you home

Janice: xD

Janice: not even!

Janice: im edward; you're bella

Anthony: well

Anthony: u are the man in this relationship

Janice: mmhmm

Janice: i love my girliefrand anthony tran<3

Now how are we supposed to go to Photosticker (YES ANTHONY, photosticker), Subway, Boba Loca, the Block, watch a movie, and be home before 6? xO

Hey sexy. (;

ASDFGHJKL;
come a little closer. yeah just like that.

Ugh stupid benchmarks. D:<

Janice: I'm mad at you.

Steven: Uhh.. okay?
MEANIEBUTTFACE I HATE YOU. YOU CHOSE OREOS OVER ME.

YAYYY SPRING BREAK!
Monday is maybe West mall with Sandy and Arimi.
Kevin Le's bonfire at Huntington beach. Kekeke. ^_____^
And Anthony Tran, my girliefrand's house! To play his PS3 and then Regals to movie hop. WOOOOT!
Camerawhore and karaoke with Henry. x]
I can't go over to my biff's house cuhs he's gonna be busy doing NOTHING. Pfft retard.<3

Today was interesting. Me and Nhu went to Rite-Aid.
She ended up buying flas instead of me buying it.
&& HELLO PANDA IS SO GOOD!
Nhu and I go on crazy adventures and travel to scary Asain supermarket bathrooms.
Yum.

All I see is you.

I'm out!

Satisfaction

My blogs are always such a jumbled disarrayed mix of ideas, thoughts, sheer madness.
It's because in my head I'm thinking 27 thoughts all at once.
Well here goes my brains, my heart: Janice Yang.
Listen. Stop and Stare.
Right this moment, as my blood is rushing throughout my body, circulating, allowing me to breathe, I'm having a moment.
I swear it's probably better than getting multiple orgasms although I don't know what that feels like.
I wouldn't say I'm narcissistic, but I'd call it respect.
For the first time in 4 years, I'm really loving and understanding this girl who claims shes 5'2 tall when she's actually 5'1.5 tall.
I love how I act, how I look, how I feel right now. So very much. Fuck all the flaws. I'm feeling fucking grand.
Don't you ruin it for me.
I love this girl typing away, the girl who doesn't know anything about kisses and handjobs, who studies last minute.
I'm such a dork. But I'm in such a good mood not to give a fuck. :]
If I were a guy, I think maybe I'd be able to fall in love with me.
This imperfect mess of a girl who just minutes ago was laughing, yelling "IHAVETOPEEDADDY!" at the top of her lungs while eating tofu and drinking soup straight out of the pot while it's still heating up at the stove, could inspire at least one human being; impact someone's life like some pop hit song.
I'm feeling so damn good. You can't get rid of it.
I know the feeling will die down soon.
Tomorrow morning, I'll look in the mirror and think "Ew."
I don't care. I'm so darn beautiful right now. I just don't care.
COUGHCONCEITEDCOUGH!
Nobody notices the little things. It's for the best.
How my eyelashes are jet black after I cry; how when I push them away/say I'm okay, I'm actually begging them to please don't leave please hold me tight and make it all right again.
How I can't EVER go a day without washing my ass and vaginal region with Dove soap.
How I don't give a fuck when a guy pulls down his jeans while we're in a stuffy taekwondo room, but I do give a damn about popping random pimples.
How the simplest things ever, the things not important to a normal human being excites me and makes me happy.
God, I need a person who can look under everything and stare into my small heart.
I'm such an amazing thing created by one hella fucked up spermie and egg.
I want to dance in the rain with the person that would hold a future for me.
I want to run through supermarkets, sit on the floor and eat bags of chips and tell the employees to "please shut the fuck up and yes i will pay for this crap after im done having the time of my life laughing and sitting on the floor of this supermarket eating chips outta the bag."
To you: I am not in a fairytale, was never in one to begin with. When you told me to grow up, I said okay. I said yes. I smiled. You know what? I'm staying young, because being mature is something I can do easily when needed, but immaturity is something I want. It runs in my system. Immaturity is the thing that makes me break into pretty playgrounds, catch fireflies, play with clay, have passion, and make me stack chairs in the middle of the sidewalk to look up at the sky and point at my two stars. I'm not going to change for andybody. Everybody. If I can't change for the one person I devoted almost everything for, I can't do it for you. I'm happy the way I am. Let me live. Let me be free. I'm only 14 once.
Whew. Today I walked in through that green door and for a second when I heard a rustle and footsteps, I thought it would be him holding a box of sushi and miso soup.
Smiling at me. Smiling for me. He only smiled for me once.
I never experienced somebody smiling for me except that day.
That tiny overbite of yours and teeth tiny enough to belong to a toddler.
People smile at me, smile with me, smile for themselves, but I don't think anybody's smiled FOR me besides my parents.
Enough of this pure nonsense. I don't get myself at times, but there's so much to learn.
I AM going to be stuck with myself until the day I die. Let's enjoy the ride.

Call me annoying, call me wild, stupid, crazy, selfish. I won't prove that wrong to you.
But say it to me, if you prove yourself better than what you call me.