You+Me=Us?

This is so hard for me. I feel like a stupid slut. I let my stupid hormones/yearnings take over my heart.
I've always been the one advising others not to follow their hearts. I think I'm following my advice right now.
I came soooo far. I'm scared if I glance back, I'll turn around and throw it all away again. Just for you.
I have so much to tell you. If only I could.
I have to stop being so stupid. I need to set limits. I have to stop. Yeah I'm probably a stupid slut like you say.
Maybe I AM wrong. Maybe I'm the one that has changed.
It's complicated. I want this, but I want that also. The only reason I'm blogging is to let it out.
I never told you to read my blogs. You make me smile even if you're being a jerk.
This burden/stress is pulling me down. It feels worser than a Fear Factor episode.
You're really killing my mood right now. Like really. I'm on the verge of being disgusted.
I wish that you'd still be the closest thing ever. My half. My hippo.
It seems like a once upon a time. I'm hoping the future will ravel and let things work out.
I'm pretty shure you still care. You're not cruel. I know it.
I miss our adventures.
"Watching" movies, hugs, fighting on the streets, me sitting on the middle of the sidewalk with my pouty lips, you cursing, me yelling, us walking and yelling, people staring, making up, making out, busing to Photosticker,
I still love Lee's Sandwiches. Your words that are trying to push me down and break me apart, I'll ignore.
You're only cold-hearted because you can't have what you want.
I miss your bed, wearing your boxers, struggling with your PS3, piggybacks. ^____^
I'm keeping our pinky promise. Life might not be fulfilling enough for me, but your impact on my life is exciting enough.
I need a fresh start. Forget the past. Start another story ona clean empty page.
I'm glad I'm not crying as much nowadays. I don't care. Get over me. It'd be like Arial without her voice.
I would do so many things to make this better if I weren't in this position right now.
Us seperating was a thing nobody expected. It was like OMFG TROY AND GABRIELLA BROKE UP.
I guess I should get used to it. I like this freedom. I wish you were more open and trusting.
I'm always going around in circles with you. Forever and ever interwined with this feeling.
I don't regret anything. I know what's going to happen later on. Guess I'm the winner then? ;]

I guess you're right. You+Me=Me+You. There's no Us, and you're not fixing it.
I care deeply, but I'm just going to go wherever I end up going. It's a matter of faith and time.